Aerosmith: Staggering Rock Consistency That Defied the Limits of Humanity
GEMS: An Occasional Column About Greatness
I spent a week reading Walk This Way: the Autobiography of Aerosmith, by Aerosmith with Stephen Davis, as a way to distract from, well, current affairs. I followed it up with a few close listens to their 2023 release Aerosmith Greatest Hits (Deluxe). My conclusion? The Bad Boys of Boston put together a career of gems despite odds that defy human imagination, physiology, and science.
The autobiography is basically five hundred pages of debauchery no human should have survived. All five member did. Page after page, chapter after chapter, Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, Brad Whitford, Tom Hamilton, and Joey Kramer collectively confess to snorting, shooting, or guzzling the equivalent of a Kilimanjaro of cocaine, a football stadium full of heroin, so much weed it could have blanketed Texas, enough beer and alcohol to give the Mississippi River a run for its money, as well as copious amounts of pills, hallucinogens, and other chemical shenanigans. Even if half of the stories are exaggeration, from a purely biological point-of-view, the five members of America’s greatest rock band should have died lone ago.
They didn’t.
Then there are the divisive relationships, car crashes, homes fires, thefts, personnel changes, and other outrageous nonsense that seasoned every day of their lives and should have annihilated the band numerous times.
It didn’t.
Instead, despite everything clouding their minds, making disasters of their lives, destroying what they loved the most repeatedly, they continued to come together (pardon the song pun) again and again to make straight ahead, powerful, memorable, exciting rock’n’roll. For fifty years.
Yeah, fifty years.
Despite stories of outrageous behavior, numerous close calls with law enforcement, collapses on stage, drug and alcohol fueled arguments of such violent shit-talking it should have driven them apart forever, they amassed a body of work so stunning it demands attention.
Here’s some damn good evidence:
Aerosmith: Greatest Hits (Deluxe) is an incredible, if incomplete, place to start. Just take a look at the consistently rocking playlist offered here.
Mama Kin - a song Tyler believed in so much he had its title tattooed on his arm. half a century later, this one still gets rockers out of their seats.
Dream On - the one that will outlive us all. I sort of wish they also included the version of this classic from their MTV appearance with the orchestra, but that’s me being greedy.
Lord of the Thighs - a song that would be problematic to release today, and yet here it is.
Same Old Song and Dance - another great groove that still stands up because these guys embraced musical traditions that came before them and gave them their own electrifying spin.
Train Kept a Rollin’ - a classic cover that still pumps the blood, then pushes heart rates up, reminding listeners how great this band was right from the start.
S.O.S. (Too Bad) - a cool rocker that hasn’t seemed to age. Great to see it included here.
Seasons of Wither - The band at its most mystical. Still cooks.
Walk This Way - a song of young lust so universal that it brought disparate music genres together and still stands up on its own. Hell, yeah.
Big Ten Inch Record - a fun, punny cover of the Fred Weismantel song from the 1950’s, this track again shows the deceptive versatility of the band. Their range was always much wider than they usually showed.
Adam’s Apple - Biblical punning this time. More of Tyler’s mischievous misbehaving over another great groove.
Sweet Emotion - Tom Hamilton’s claim to immortality, a classic ‘70’s anthem that still excites.
Toys in the Attic - harder charging that might be remembered, and more blistering. Classic.
Combination - a down and dirty jam with a bit more compressed production than it deserves. Would love to hear a blistering live version of this one.
Nobody’s Fault - one of my personal favorites, though a member of the band said it wasn’t liked and not performed live. A socially conscious precursor to Janie in a way. Vicious guitar work.
Home Tonight - a beautiful ballad that hints at tear jerkers to come. Lush and emotional.
Back in the Saddle - Great song with incredible production. Sizzling guitars on top of that killer rhythm section seasoned with sound effects from horses to whips to everything else, topped by completely untamed vocals. Classic.
Last Child - a funky rhythm with killer riffs and Tyler having ridiculous amounts of verbal fun.
Bright Light Fright - I was surprised to see this included and thought I’d listen to a few seconds and skip. Nope. Too much rocking going on. Big fun.
Draw the Line - a relentlessly out of control band sounding recklessly out of control, almost. They somehow hold on while taking turns on two wheels at about 90 miles per minute. Nuts.
Kings and Queens - unexpected sword and sorcery feel to this still cool B side. Still love it after all these years.
Let the Music Do the Talking - I really wish someone had gone through the Aerosmith Archives (I have to believe there is one) for a blistering live version of this one. Still great to hear but not where Aersomith went with this live.
Hangman Jury - proof that the band’s non-hit album tracks are still big fun.
Dude (Looks Like a Lady) - huge comeback hit, memorable video, proof that a tsunami of drugs didn’t dim Tyler’s powers of wordplay.
Rag Doll (live) - see #23. Great use of their rich musical roots, love of grooves, sense of humor, and killer riffs.
Angel - one of the numerous huge ballads of this era. Hard rockers shouldn’t sleep on Aerosmith’s ability to spread its wings and soar on these smoother classics.
Monkey on My Back - this one moves, grooves, and delivers more truth than might be noticed at first. The band rocking sober while refusing to flinch at their sordid past.
What it Takes - great inspiration, still an anthem, still fantastic.
Water Song/Janie’s Got a Gun - proof that Tyler isn’t just a lusty punster (something often overlooked despite “Dream On”), a powerful song from the bass line on up.
Going Down/Love in an Elevator - hilariously naughty, this is another song that record companies would lose sleep over today. Still rocks.
The Other Side - a great song with an infectious groove that I always thought deserved to be a bigger hit than it was. Grateful that it is included.
Living on the Edge - another social/political song from the guys who aren’t known for making such statements. Well, here it is. And it still sounds great.
Amazing - another classic ballad of their comeback/MTV era, this one about their recovery. Rockers can’t live by shredding alone, brothers and sisters. Aerosmith delivers on these kinds of hits.
Get a Grip - more come back era punning and shredding. Power drums, big fun.
Cryin’ - yet another ballad that works. Didn’t think they could deliver soft songs so often and make them all sound cool? They did. Enjoy.
Eat the Rich - More relevant today than ever. Fun, rocking, and ahead of its time.
Crazy - at this point, Aerosmith has a second career as balladeers. This one mixes in Tyler’s trademark lust.
Falling in Love (is Hard on the Knees) - a late stage puny rocker. Cool.
Pink - still more double entendre rocking. A lesser Aerosmith classic but still worthy. Could it come out in the 2020’s? Not sure.
Nine Lives - fun and a bit weird. The boys playing with where their rock chops can go.
I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing - well, it’s been a few songs, so it is time for another hit ballad. This one works, too.
Jaded - another minor classic.
We All Fall Down - Gotta admit, I had never heard this one. A nice surprise. Cool lyrics.
Just Push Play - a fun call back to textbook Aerosmith rockers. A nice closer.
I’ll confess to dreaming about them putting out an album called Aerosmith: Greatest Covers (Deluxe) to let fans feast on all the times they scorched through other people’s songs from “Come Together” and “Remember (Walking in the Sand)” to old blues tunes, James Brown, Led Zeppelin, and so much more.
And there are still a few songs I’m missing in this collection (“Moving Out” for historical purposes, “You See Me Cryin’”, “Heart’s Done Time”, “Lick and a Promise”, “Come Together”, “Chip Away the Stone”, etc.) but this 2023 record makes an undeniable case for how great this band has been over its career. If you’re not impressed, you’re not listening with your rock ears.
Congrats, Aerosmith, on a career of gems. And thanks.
Christopher Ryan writes books, poems, short stories, and essays. He publishes some himself, others are published traditionally, and he sends stuff like this out to the world, hoping they find the readers who need them. His podcast with Alex Simmons, Tell the Damn Story, offers discussions about writing and is nearing its 350th episode.